Here's a picture of the last time that I saw my brother. It was in January when he took us flying in the plane. What a surprise - he's on the phone! Maybe he was talking to you!
We only lived an hour and half away, and we made tentative plans to get together, but in February Shaan was sick and in March I was sick or busy or something. I feel sad about that and wish that I had made more of an effort. We should have seen each other more often.
I am thankful that I talked to Ned the night before the accident. He called me and we talked for almost an hour. That's what I tell people and that's what I hold onto - his happiness, his enthusiasm on Thursday night, April 17th and how much he loved his life. I know that each one of us has to find something that we can hold onto. Maybe your last conversation with Ned wasn't that great. I was lucky. But maybe you didn't call him back or maybe the conversation was strained or frustrating. But you have other memories and ways to keep his spirit with you.
This morning I went to the store to get a couple things and when I pulled up this song - one of Ned's songs - came on the radio and I just had to sit there in the car in the parking lot during the song and cry. It felt terrible and was a relief at the same time. It's a really redemptive song. Maybe it will help you in your grieving to just let it go and forgive yourself for whatever you didn't say or didn't do.
It's Been a While by Staind
P.S. People, don't forget that you can comment on this blog. Also, Cousin Debbie, the shout out for recipes is on my list to do today. People, get your recipes ready!
