I just looked up the lyrics and the video and it moved me to tears because it is so much like Ned's philosophy. I know that my brother was always struggling to conquer his fears and I'm sure he struggled at the bitter end not to throw up his hands. (That's the most difficult place for my mind to go.)
But really the song is about letting go of that fear and embracing life, getting out of our individual holes. Ned always strived to do that.
Here are the lyrics and watch the video for the full effect:
Fugitive by David Gray
Yeah yeah
Is the answer none of the above
Crouched in a whole like a mud-streaked fugitive
And everyday a different version of
Pourin it away like a water through a sieve
Hey better realize my friend
Love in the end now you can't take it with
Gotta live
If only for a second
I see a twinklin in your eye
Gotta try
Well its flesh and blood and camaflouge
Paint it to the wall now somethings gotta give
Just another right to sabatoge
Seein through the eyes of a mind-rot sedative
When will you realize my friend
Love in the end now you cant take it with
Gotta live
If only for a second
I see a twinklin in your eye
Gotta try
The one that you're forsaken
Surely more than just a lie
Gotta try
Yeah
When will you realize my friend
Love in the end now you can't take it with
Gotta live
If only for a second
I see a twinklin in your eye
Gotta try
The one that you're forsaken
Surely more than just a lie
Gotta try
It's for the taken
And you know not to testify
Gotta try
Everyday is a different version of
Is the answer none of the above
Crouched in a whole like a mud-streaked fugitive
And everyday a different version of
Pourin it away like a water through a sieve
Hey better realize my friend
Love in the end now you can't take it with
Gotta live
If only for a second
I see a twinklin in your eye
Gotta try
Well its flesh and blood and camaflouge
Paint it to the wall now somethings gotta give
Just another right to sabatoge
Seein through the eyes of a mind-rot sedative
When will you realize my friend
Love in the end now you cant take it with
Gotta live
If only for a second
I see a twinklin in your eye
Gotta try
The one that you're forsaken
Surely more than just a lie
Gotta try
Yeah
When will you realize my friend
Love in the end now you can't take it with
Gotta live
If only for a second
I see a twinklin in your eye
Gotta try
The one that you're forsaken
Surely more than just a lie
Gotta try
It's for the taken
And you know not to testify
Gotta try
Everyday is a different version of
Now remember (or maybe you didn't know), Ned played David Gray songs when he staged the proposal to Vicki. He had a big boom box playing "Sail Away" and "Babylon" and other songs.
He did his jump and then Vicki came down. Ned had changed into a white tux and gotten down on his knees to propose.
Talk about conquering fear and embracing life.
I will always love my brother. This song reminds me not to despair at his death (that is so hard not to do) but to get out there and live. Love you Ned. Thank you David Gray.
