Embrace Life

I put a picture of Ned on my desk where he is standing under a waterfall, the lush green of trees and vines surrounding him, his chest bare, his arms outstretched upwards in a sun salutation, although I never knew him to do yoga, a huge smile on his face from ear to ear. I love the way he embraced life.

Coming through to say thank you

Last night in my dream, Ned came to an event in NYC. He was much younger than he was when he died, maybe in his twenties. He gave me a pin to wear that said Ned on it and it was rainbow striped with baby blue in it. He was going to make a presentation of thank you to all his friends and family for celebrating his life and then he’d be on his way. I guess that's what I'm doing too, to anyone who might read this. Just coming through to say thank you. Ned Snyder still lives on even if we don't talk about or blog about him as much.

Four Years Ago Today..

Dear Ned,

It's odd how life just goes on and four years pass but it feels like yesterday when I couldn't believe you were gone!

How wonderful your boy is - handsome, kind, thoughtful - and I want to spend more time with him! How incredible your wife is - she moves with such grace and joy even as I see the sadness that she continues to carry....

Tomorrow we have a tour we are hosting in Oakland. I wrote about it on Facebook:

The first event hosting Nurse Midwife Mary Koroma is tomorrow.
I'm asking friends of mine for you to come. If you can't come, maybe you can make a donation.
Mary Koroma is from Sierra Leone and leads the maternal and infant health clinic and economic development programs.

Through her work, she has directly challenged the fact that African women in Sierra Leone are dying in childbirth - one out of eight! Also, in Sierra Leone, due to the conditions originating from Europe's attack on African and ongoing colonial exploitation, the people in Sierra Leone live on average only 39 years.
This is on land that is rich in minerals, including the "purest" diamonds in the world. The work of the All African People's Development and Empowerment Project, which is part of the Uhuru Movement, is so significant because it is not some single issue about birth, but is about transforming all the different ways that African people are suffering on their own continent and is tied to a strategy to unite African people across borders to control their own land and resources. That is what will ensure the future for an African women, child and man.

Tomorrow also marks four years since we lost my brother in a plane accident. Losing my brother was terrible and we miss him every day. He was almost 39. He was a young man. He had a great life and he also had so much ahead of him, having just had a child. I can't imagine that being the norm and for people to face, on a daily basis, that kind of loss.

My brother didn't fully understand my political involvement in a movement for African liberation. It's unique. There aren't other organizations that a white person can join that isn't a charity, that welcomes white people and yet challenges us to go deep, to take a principled stand. It's not easy. It is a struggle, because there are so many other forces that pull us into a self-centered, individualistic, mind numbed existence. The Uhuru Movement forces us out of that and helps us see the world as it really is, not how we would like it to be. There is so much struggle needed to build a larger movement and yet, I feel that people are more open. People are ready. Many white people have had enough of just sitting idly by while the young Trayvon Martins get shot and killed, while the NYPD attacks the black community with racial bigotry and while the US continues to kill and maim Pakistani and Afghani men, women and children with drone attacks or US soldiers "going crazy." So much transformation needed in this "post-racial" America.

Four years ago, my brother was starting to understand and recognize the value of not just caring about the world in the abstract, but in being directly involved in change. There aren't proper words for me to express my sadness at not having had more time with him to connect and share with him about all these issues. I have so much appreciation for the kind soul who was/is my brother and the wonderful family that he made Vicki Snyder

And much love to the leadership of the Uhuru Movement for bringing great, tumultuous change to make the world a better place.
Everyone is invited to be a part of it!

That's what I wanted to share with the world today.

Love Your Sister Always,

Wendy

Writing on this Blog

Dear Ned and the Blogosphere,

I've decided that I am going to keep up this blog. I may have to rename it

because it is not so much about Ned anymore, and more about my life.

I don't want to pretend that I'm writing about my brother. It would be

awesome if I could keep that up, but I can't.

Ultimately, it is about the living, how we go on, how we take action to

be happy, to participate in living.

The theme of superman and the supernatural appeals to me though...

You have become bigger than life. We look to you know for guidance

from the beyond and pretend that you respond when we come up with

ideas by the very act of trying to correspond with you.

I'm not talking about a Ouija board of anything like that. I'm talking about

just basic, human communication with the dead through our thoughts.

A Kind of WWND (What Would Ned Do) taking a bit further.

There are so many ideas I had when I first created this. It was as though

a new community would form from the blog. In some ways it has.

In other ways the life that Ned knew has changed drastically so much

so that he wouldn't recognize it.

Ned your son is six years old now. I look forward to seeing him at Xmas.

Your wife is an amazing mother and she looks forward, participates in her

community and family and carries on.

I miss you so much and I guess what this blog was supposed to do was

to fill that abysss, the ache that I feel and my family feels from not having

you around.

It is hard to deal with that absence, with the presence of your absence

at the house, especially at the holidays.

Last year we wrote a few stories. This year I will think of something....

That's all for now. Gotta run.

Love,

Wendy

Dear Ned

I miss you today. It's my 45th birthday and you would be here to celebrate if things had gone differently.

You'd probably send me a coffee card on the last birthday you were around. You'd call and try to sing or just leave a message. . All the happiness and gratefulness I feel combines with the sadness of not being able to share with you, spend time with you. Wherever your energy has gone in the universe, I connect with now to remember, to never forget. You are loved so very much. You will always be a part of my being. I love you.

As you said, Let's "dream big dreams."

Your sister,

Wendy

Vicki and Shaan

Everyone has their own way of commemorating important dates. The strange thing about a birthday for someone who is gone is that it used to be joyous. Now it is filled with memories, sorrow, longing and also, in this case, the energy and passion of the loved one who is gone.

Vicki and Shaan will go to Ned's favorite restaurant in Elk Grove and have an ice cream cookie cake with a candle. Shaan also got a balloon with a "Love You" note that he will let go into the sky.

Remembering You on Your Birthday

Another bald-headed baby, the first boy. Later you'd sprout the white blond curls. I remember Grandma had to stay with us while mom and dad went away. She was kind of stern, but the excitement came out through the timbre of her voice. What do I remember? I was barely two and a half, but something about wood panel walls of the house, the door opening, the wrapped tight bundle, the soft coos and carefulness of the grown-ups. It was a special time and this was our little brother.

I don't remember if they let me hold him even as I would be sitting on a lap with someone holding me. I do remember talking to you, your special milk cup, and later your little chubby fingers that you stuck into the little round oat pieces of cereal (ok, Cheerios).

But when you first arrived, it was the power of you, the tiny round Buddha face, all of us gathered around you waiting for you to tell us what to do. Keep life going, you say. Love life, you say. The eternal struggle. We love you.